Healing Our Way Home

Description

#1 New Release in Zen Spirituality on Amazon

Real talk on living joyfully and coming home to ourselves—with reflective self-care practices to help us on our interconnected journeys of liberation

Join three friends, three Black women, all teachers in the Plum Village tradition founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, in intimate conversation, touching on the pain and beauty of their families of origin, relationships and loneliness, intimacy and sexuality, politics, popular culture, race, self-care and healing. No subject is out of bounds in this free-flowing, wide-ranging offering of mindful wisdom to nourish our sense of belonging and connection with ancestors.

Authors Valerie Brown, Marisela Gomez, MD, and Kaira Jewel Lingo share how the Dharma’s timeless teachings support their work for social and racial equity and justice in their work and personal lives. The book offers insights in embodied mindfulness practice to support us in healing white supremacy, internalized racial oppression, and social and cultural conditioning, leading to a firm sense of belonging and abiding joy.”Generous and restorative, this powerful trinity of Black authors invites us into the living room of their hearts, affirming who we are with earthy straight talk, textured diversity, and wise tenderness. Healing Our Way Home takes us back and moves us forward in joy, unity, and reverence. Read if you want both comfort and truth.”
 —Ruth King, author of Mindful of Race: Transforming Racism from the Inside Out

“As a White-bodied person, I am enlarged by Healing Our Way Home—reading it has brought smiles and tears, understanding and inspiration. These wise teachings guide us to reconnect with our spiritual roots and bring a courageous presence into our contemporary world. The book itself is an activity of love, like an intimate warm conversation at the kitchen table.”
—Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance

“This beautiful offering is a direct and courageous response to the ancestors’ call to heal the generations before and those who will come after. Having created a sacred circle, to teach and allow us to listen in, pays honor to the indigenous ways teachers taught in ancient times. All we need to do is listen clearly with our hearts. What is being shared here goes beyond the stories and follows a winding path towards joy and liberation.”
—Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, author of The Shamanic Bones of Zen, The Way of Tenderness, and The Deepest Peace

“This precious book is a profound gift of generosity, insight, and healing, offered to us by three of the most compelling voices in Buddhism today who invite us to join them in an intimate conversation on the transformative process of bringing our whole selves to the practice of mindfulness.”
—Brother Phap Hai, author of The Eight Realizations of Great Beings: Buddhist Wisdom for Waking Up to Who You Are

“In a world that too often leads with the mind, Healing Our Way Home is a true gift from the heart. It transmits the ancient wisdom of the dharma through story and narrative, painting a beautiful picture of what wisdom looks and feels like. I found myself constantly smiling as I moved through these pages. The paths that the three authors took in their lives is a gift to the dharma as much as the dharma has been a gift to them.”
—Kazu Haga, author of Healing Resistance: A Radically Different Response to Harm

“To live without fear in a world that is full of fear is not easy. Reading this book we
learn about three people who aspire deeply to do that. Following in their footsteps,
we give rise to compassion that spurs us on to action.”
—Sister Annabel Laity aka Sister Chan Duc, senior Dharma teacher in the Plum Village tradition and author of True Virtue: The Journey of an English Buddhist Nun

“‘In “trialogue,’ the authors’ individual life narratives are ignited and amplified. You can see the sparks fly! Using street wisdom, gathas, music, food, and intergenerational guidance, through their relationship and care for us all, Brown, Gomez, and Lingo offer the Buddha as a Black woman, and it is about time!”
—Pamela Ayo Yetunde, ThD, editor of Black and BuddhistValerie Brown is a Buddhist-Quaker Dharma teacher and executive coach. A former lawyer and lobbyist, she is co-director of Georgetown’s Institute for Transformational Leadership as well as the founder of Lead Smart Coaching. She is an ordained Dharma teacher in Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village tradition.

Marisela B. Gomez, MD, is a community activist, public health professional, and physician-scientist. She received her MD-PhD and MPH from Johns Hopkins University Schools of Medicine and Public Health. Drawing on 17 years of activism-research in East Baltimore, her writings address mindfulness practices in community organizing and development.

Kaira Jewel Lingo lived as a nun for 15 years from the age of 25 under the guidance of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Also a teacher in Spirit Rock Meditation Center’s Vipassana Insight lineage, today she sees her work as a continuation of the Engaged Buddhism developed by Thich Nhat Hanh as well as her parents’ work with Martin Luther King Jr.INTRODUCTION
As Black Buddhists and as members of BIPOC sanghas—communities of Black, Indigenous, and other People of Color— we hold multidimensional lineages and cultures grounded in the lives of our ancestors that continue today to point the way to individual and collective love, compassion, resilience, liberation, and understanding. We have inherited gifts of song, land, wisdom, food, dance, poetry, stories, and other practices that support our daily lives. We honor this ancestral legacy that keeps us moving forward in our lives. 
We also know that we live in urgent times of overlapping crises: a recent global pandemic, climate chaos, economic inequality, heteropatriarchy, racial and political polarization, and continued “coloniality” (the set of attitudes, values, ways of knowing, and power structures upheld as normative by Western colonizing societies, which serve to rationalize and perpetuate Western dominance). These are similar and yet different crises from those our ancestors experienced. Our ancestors passed down ways of rising up and healing from the disturbances and destruction of their times, ways that can serve us in these times. We believe this book, made especially by and for BIPOC, is an offering to support us in reclaiming and remembering our spiritual roots. 
Many of us, especially BIPOC, too often live and work in toxic environments with untenable roles and impossible-to-execute standards or in communities that are grossly under-resourced and underserved. Some have become apathetic, resigned, rageful, or drop out altogether when faced with these often “broken” environments. 
As BIPOC belonging to multiple lineages and identities, we are called to live into our best, brilliant, and wise selves in even more courageous and powerful ways, especially now. This requires spaces and places where we connect with ourselves and each other to reflect, renew, and remember, spaces where we are surrounded by a community of support and practice. This book aspires to be part of creating that community, those places of support and nourishment.
We invite you to join us in exploring this book, to practice, to listen, rest, restore, experiment, play, and create new and nurture old pathways and practices, to be in community and to rediscover ease and well-being within yourself. This book is a resource to support you in acknowledging the fullness of your life as it is and in cultivating practices to support your spiritual growth.

Our Teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, and the Plum Village Community of Engaged Buddhism
The connecting thread that brought the three of us together to write this book is that we are each students of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, as well as practitioners and Dharma teachers in the International Plum Village Community and Order of Interbeing that he founded. Thich Nhat Hanh (pronounced “tik nyat han”) is known by his students as Thay, which means “teacher” in Vietnamese. Thay was a Zen master who came to be known in the West for his work to end the American War in Vietnam in the 1960s and 1970s.
During his incredibly full life from 1926 to 2022, he founded several Buddhist journals in Vietnam to help renew Buddhism there, as well as the School of Youth for Social Service, which trained thousands of young people as social workers to serve villages across Vietnam to help them recover from the impacts of the war. He was exiled from Vietnam for his political stance and work for peace, and he received asylum in France. There he helped resettle other Vietnamese refugees and then started Plum Village, a mindfulness practice center and monastery where many thousands of people from all over the world have been going to learn the art of mindfulness on retreats since 1982.
He established monasteries in many countries and the Plum Village monastic community is one of the largest Buddhist monastic sanghas in the world. Sangha is one of the Three Refuges of Buddhism, and it means spiritual practice community, the people who practice together.

—
THE THREE REFUGES OR THREE JEWELS
Buddha: Literally meaning “one who is awakened,” the word Buddha refers both to the historical Buddha and the quality of awakening in each human being.
Dharma: The teaching of the Buddha; teachings of awakening.
Sangha: The community of friends who practice awakening and liberation.
—

There are also thousands of lay communities or sanghas that meet regularly to practice mindfulness in the Plum Village lineage all around the world. Thay also innovated and updated Buddhist practice and is one of the most influential teachers of mindfulness in the West. He popularized the term Engaged Buddhism to show that meditation is not only a contemplative practice in monasteries removed from ordinary life, but also an active and engaged practice in daily life in the world. Thay offered mindfulness teachings and retreats tailored for specific groups such as People of Color (BIPOC), law enforcement officers, business people, prison inmates, Vietnam veterans, groups of Palestinians and Israelis, children, environmentalists, artists, activists, and educators to name a few. 
Each of us had the opportunity to train directly with Thich Nhat Hanh while he was alive, either on retreats or living in the monastery with him, for some twenty-plus years, and we have each been practicing for decades in his lay and monastic communities, which now span the globe and number in the thousands.
We speak often about sangha or “community,” because having a community of spiritual friends is as important as our teacher and the teachings themselves. It is one of the Three Jewels we take refuge in when we walk this path of Engaged Buddhism. Thay would often say, “If you want to find me when I have passed away, look for me in the sangha.” When we refer to our community in this book, we are referring to the Plum Village community of both monastic and lay practitioners worldwide.
[…]

Our Backgrounds and Spiritual Journeys
Valerie Brown: I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, and on my street were people of many different backgrounds, cultures, and races: Puerto Rican, Haitian, Irish, and Italian. My parents were immigrants to the United States, my mother from Cuba and my father from Jamaica. All these groups of people lived on the same street. Everyone had relatives from somewhere other than Brooklyn. Everyone spoke languages other than English and, as a kid, visiting other kids on my street was like traveling from one country to the next: from Italy to Ireland to Haiti and so forth. I grew up with the idea that the world was a big and complex place with all different kinds of people. That experience laid the foundation for a strong sense of acceptance of people as they are, for a sense of togetherness and belonging even among differences.
My parents had a violent on-and-off relationship that left me fearful and insecure about what would happen to me. After years of struggling to make their marriage work, my parents split for good. My mother worked as a maid in the Hotel Manhattan and as a barber to support three kids as a single parent. Every penny went to send us kids to Catholic school, and I never spent one day in a public school. It was in Catholic school that I fell in love with the rituals of spirit, the scent of incense, and the Catholic Mass, with reading the Catechism, and singing. I loved the silence and stillness of daily Mass.
My life changed abruptly when my mother died when I was sixteen years old. My father returned but it didn’t work out. After months of physical violence and verbal abuse from him, I grabbed a sheet, got some of my clothes and things and tied them up in it, threw the bundle in the back of my boyfriend’s car, and we drove away from the house. I didn’t see my father or my brothers for years thereafter. I was eighteen.
I started running from myself, from life at that point. I was running from poverty, running from violence, running from trauma, running toward becoming somebody, running toward finding a sense of belonging that I’d had as a kid growing up in Brooklyn. The journey led me to undergrad, graduate, and law school and then to the ‘Big and Important’ Job as a lawyer-lobbyist. The only problem with the job was that it was killing my spirit and killing my soul. It was killing off a part of me that I knew was important but felt distant.
The search to reclaim this lost or hidden part of me led me on a spiritual journey that included taking solo pilgrimages all over the world, to studying Kundalini yoga, and then studying mindfulness meditation with Thay and the Plum Village community. However, it was that day I attended the public talk at Riverside Church that set me on a spiritual path of awakening and introspection about the meaning and purpose of my life. Unprepared and awkward, I began studying mindfulness meditation at night after work and on weekends. For many years I was a “closet meditator” and hid my practice because at the time, in the 1990s and early 2000s, the practice of meditation was not widely accepted and certainly not so in the legal profession. After practicing for years with the Plum Village community, slowly I began to change from the inside out. The change came gradually, over many years.
There were many turning points, and one important event was a moment of great stress and overwhelm in my work life. Like many people, when I felt overwhelmed by stress and hit a wall, I decided to take myself on a hiking vacation. I chose the mountains of New Mexico. I climbed to the top of a big hill, took off my backpack, and probably for the first time in my life I really looked up at the sky.
I sat there motionless with my back against a fallen tree in a jaw-dropping moment of being fully present enough to see and to feel the sky and the clouds move in a slow-motion dance above my head. I thought: Where have I been all this time and not noticed? What was I doing?
In that moment I realized not only was I alienated from the natural world, but I was also alienated from myself. That day led me on a quest of self-discovery and self-transformation, which led to letting go of my high-powered career that paid all the bills but wasn’t serving my fullest potential. As scary as that was, I kept going, immersing myself in the study and practice of mindfulness meditation with Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh and the Plum Village community, Kundalini yoga, pilgrimage travel, and leadership development. Today, I am clear about who I am, what I offer, and how I can serve and support BIPOC and others who may be on a similar journey of transformation. These events led to this moment and the writing of this, my fourth book.

Kaira Jewel Lingo: I grew up in Chicago and Nairobi. My mom is Black, from the West Side of Chicago, (her people came from Mississippi in the Great Migration via Oklahoma and Wisconsin), and her family was working class; she was a first-generation college graduate, earning a teaching degree. My dad is white, from Houston, Texas, and grew up upper middle class. He is a Christian minister and lay Buddhist Dharma Teacher. Their backgrounds were distinctly different though they were both called to work for social justice and live a life of spiritual meaning and service.
My parents met in Fifth City, a globally recognized human development project on the West Side of Chicago that stimulated urban renewal and empowered this inner city community economically, politically, and culturally. They married in the early 1970s.
One of the biggest influences on me, after that of being born into an interracial family, is that my parents had entered a religious order that was a quasi-monastic life for families. They both took vows of poverty and obedience and raised their children in voluntary simplicity, as part of an engaged Christian residential community called The Order Ecumenical. The Order had a mission to renew the church, locally and globally, through living and working with the poor, and ultimately it set up human and village development projects in every time zone of the globe.
Though our community was multiracial and international, I was raised in a predominantly white cultural context. We lived outside of, and probably in resistance to, mainstream, consumer-driven, nuclear-family US culture, and even as many aspects of our lives were radically against the stream, whiteness was still the norm. As humans we are all a product of our conditioning, and so despite the best of intentions, racism, like sexism and patriarchy, were an unavoidable reality. This was decades before the deeper work of white awareness, unlearning racism, and dismantling patriarchy began that is so important and more commonplace today.
I grew up in an old, eight-story insurance building on the North Side of Chicago, transformed into residential housing for many families, and I was cared for communally with at least a hundred other children. As a child I also lived for four years over a noisy bar in a slum on the 
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outskirts of Nairobi, Kenya, and also in rural areas of Kenya, which gave me a first-hand experience of the huge difference in economic realities in the Global South and the Global North. As a teenager, I was fortunate to be able to spend a summer with a family in Puebla, Mexico, and later lived for a year as an exchange student with a family in Goiania, Brazil. These early experiences learning different cultures and languages opened me up to the beauty and power of Latin American culture and helped me not center the US experience as the standard for everything. Being in Brazil also gave me the opportunity to connect with the African Diaspora in my body and led to many years studying capoeira, the Afro-Brazilian martial art, both as a capoeirista and as an academic.
I am also grateful that when I was with my mom’s side of the family, I soaked up the love and wisdom of five generations of hard-working Black women who put family first and foremost. The struggles and triumphs of my mom, along with my great-grandmother, grandmother, and aunt, and their gusto in preparing our delicious soul food Sunday dinners nourished me, body and spirit. Because my dad was a part of the Civil Rights’ Movement and worked closely with Dr. King and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC), growing up I had the chance to spend time around luminaries like Coretta Scott King, the Hon. Andrew Young, Congressman John Lewis, C. T. Vivian, and others when we attended SCLC conventions and spent time in their homes as cherished friends. I read shelves of books about the Black Freedom Movement, all of which set me early on a path of seeking to understand and uproot racism, both for the ways it had helped to break my family and for how it cripples our society.
While we speak in this book from our shared Black and BIPOC experience, we are well aware that the Black experience is not homogenous. Just as there are many shades and hues of Blackness, there are many flavors and nuances of Blackness due to our various ancestral lineages, languages, religious practices, histories of migration, and cultural evolutions. I speak from the experience of a Black, biracial, multicultural woman who has also been deeply influenced by my white father and the predominantly white communities I grew up in and have been educated within. Growing up mixed, both racially, economically, culturally, and internationally, I have often had the paradoxical experience of being an outsider while at the same time able to fit in most anywhere. The economic, racial, and cultural advantages my father has and has been able to transmit somewhat to me, and my lighter skin give me a privilege I try to see clearly without shying away from it, nor taking it for granted.
I spent fifteen years as a Buddhist monastic, and this has profoundly shifted and given direction to my life. One of the things I have been most impacted by is the spiritual training we are each rooted in and speak to in this book. This spiritual practice has helped me to relate to and befriend myself and my emotions so that I feel more whole and truly loving of myself and all my ancestors. 

Marisela Gomez: Born in Belize, I migrated to New Orleans at age thirteen. In Belize we were all Creole, mixed race and ethnicity descendants through colonization of Europeans, enslaved Africans, and Mestizos (mixed Native Indigenous and Europeans). In the US, I translated Creole to Afro-Latina.
At the age of seventeen, I enlisted in the Air Force. After four years in the Air Force, I continued with college in New Mexico and then moved to Baltimore, Maryland in 1989, where I completed two masters’ degrees and an MD/PhD doctorate and medical degree at Johns Hopkins University. My medical training continued with a pediatric internship, a residency in public health and preventive medicine, and a fellowship in mental health and substance use.
In Baltimore the work of rebuilding healthy communities in historically marginalized Black neighborhoods became my area of organizing and research. In 2000 I began practicing mindfulness and meditation, which eventually led me to taking a year off in 2007 to journey to Plum Village in France. This turned into almost three years, the last year and a half living at Blue Cliff Monastery in Pine Bush, New York. After leaving the monastery, I spent another eighteen months in solitary retreats in Baltimore; Belize; Puerto Rico; Barre, Massachussetts; Rehoboth Beach; and Smith Island, Maryland, before returning to Baltimore.
I came back to Baltimore a changed person; some transformation had taken place and made me want to understand how more could happen. My life purpose had been about justice before going to the monastery. On returning to “the world,” the purpose of my life became love as justice. I understood that for collective healing and justice to be present, my individual healing was at the base. These days I continue to find ways to merge mindfulness and social justice as the way of rebuilding healthy and just communities through my work with Village of Love and Resistance (VOLAR), a Black-led nonprofit in East Baltimore committed to land stewardship, healing, and economic development. Baltimore and Beyond Mindfulness Community (BBMC) is my home sangha and an amazing group of folks keeping me on the path, as well as the Awakening through Race, Intersectionality, and Social Equity (ARISE) sangha in Thay’s tradition.

How to Navigate This Book
As you make your way through this book, we invite you to take great care of yourself. You might begin by noticing what is happening as you read the words we share. Notice why you are called to this book at this time. In this book, we three Black-identified women focus on meditation and mindfulness as a path of healing, through reflection and conversation with each other. We talk about our joys, our traumas, and our transformation. We attempt to be open and also take care with sensitive subjects to be as trauma-informed as we can.
NOTE For those who have experienced or been impacted by sexual abuse, miscarriage, domestic violence, and mental illness, we offer a trigger warning that these topics are discussed in this book, as are many other reflections and practices that we hope you will experience as soothing, grounding, and healing.
We invite you to take care of yourself and resource yourself. Meditation is not a “one size fits all” path. For those with more challenging psychological or emotional histories, please note the chapter titles below and prepare yourselves for a theme that might be activating, perhaps even skipping those chapters until you feel ready.CA

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