Confessions of the Other Mother

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One of the few books to explore lesbian parenting, these “hilarious, heart-wrenching, painfully honest tales of mommyhood” celebrate the ups and downs of being an LGBTQIA+ parent in the 21st century (Joey Solloway, creator of Transparent).

After author Harlyn Aizley gave birth to her daughter, she watched in unanticipated horror as her partner scooped up the baby and said, “I’m your new mommy!” While they both had worked to find the perfect sperm donor, Aizley had spent nine months carrying the baby and hours in labor, so how could her partner claim to be their child’s mommy?

Many diapers later, Aizley began to appreciate the complexity of her partner’s new role as the other mother. Together, they searched for stories about families like their own, in which a woman has chosen to forgo her own birth experience so that she might support her partner in hers. They found very few. Now, in Confessions of the Other Mother, Aizley has put together an exciting collection of personal stories by women like her partner who are creating new parenting roles, redefining motherhood, and reshaping our view of two-parent families. Contributors include Hillary Goodridge, who was one of the lead plaintiffs in the case for same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, stand-up comedian Judy Gold, and psychologist and author Suzanne M. Johnson.

This candid peek into a previously unexamined side of lesbian parenting is full of stories that are sometimes humorous, sometimes moving, but at all times celebratory. Each parenting tale sheds light on the many facets of motherhood, offering gay and straight readers alike a deeper understanding of what it means to love and parent in the twenty-first century.Lambda Literary Finalist, LGBT Anthology

“These funny, poignant essays illuminate a virtually undiscussed topic while celebrating the joyful chaos of becoming a new parent.”
—Mothering Magazine

“Reading through their moving and often funny musings on the new situations these babas have met and conquered, one can’t help thinking that once again lesbians are quietly doing what they’ve always done: blazing trails for everybody else.”
—The Advocate

“Confessions of the Other Mother brings together hilarious, heart-wrenching, painfully honest tales of mommyhood. Not just for mothers or other mothers—but for anyone who has felt like an outsider at the playground. Funny, warm, sad, beautiful—and even sexy—the book is not only from the heart, but for the heart.”
—Joey Solloway, creator, writer, director, and executive producer of Transparent

“More than 15 years into the lesbian baby boom, Aizley’s collection of first-person accounts by nonbiological lesbian mothers is a long time coming. . . . These essays explain what it is to be biologically estranged from your spouse and child(ren) and the daily struggle for approval and acceptance that these women face in society and sometimes even in their own homes and hearts.”
—Publishers Weekly

“Editor and biological mom Aizley’s representative selection of the voices of those who, to the usual maternal trials and tribulations, add the difficult, revolutionary task of creating and defining unusual roles within and outside of their homes constitutes a valuable addition to the gay studies and women’s issues shelves.”
—Booklist

“It’s a timely and illuminating book—the start of something larger, one hopes, and a good start at that.”
—EdgeBoston.com

“The essays in Confessions of the Other Mother are alternately fascinating, insightful, hilarious, touching and goofy, and all a testament to what a universal thing it is to be a parent. I love the Babas and the Bobbies and the mommies and the mommas, they are all the sweetest and the strongest, as women and writers, and show us, in a very entertaining fashion, that we are all in the same boat.”
—Christie Mellor, author of The Three-Martini Playdate

“Given how many lesbians are conceiving children together, this collection of narratives by non-biological mothers will fill a much-needed place in the queer parenting canon.”
—Rachel Pepper, author of The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians Harlyn Aizley is the author of Buying Dad: One Woman’s Search for the Perfect Sperm Donor. Her work has appeared in national journals, magazines, and anthologies and has aired on public radio stations nationwide. Aizley resides in the Boston area with her family, where she works as a writer and teacher.US

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